17 March 2010

When wall words say what they mean


The terrifically funny Alycia Wicker is an interior designer in Eastvale, CA and she writes the blog Casa Moxie. Casa Moxie is always brimming with great pointers and ideas and all of it's sprinkled liberally with Alycia's biting humor. I love it when she gets on a roll. She was on a roll earlier this week.

She has little patience for wall words and that's definitely something we have in common. I found this one on a website called Vinyl-Decals that sums up perfectly what I dislike wall words so much.


Ugh. Ugh. Ugh. I think what somebody who hangs that over her bed is really saying is something from Dante's Inferno. Like this:


Look it up!

Anyhow, Alycia took some liberties of her own yesterday and I thought they were hilarious. Here are some wall words from the mind of Alycia Wicker.





This is hilarious and it has me thinking of phrases I'd really like to see emblazoned on walls. So what bitingly funny words or phrases can you guys come up with? Who ever leaves the snarkiest quote today wins. Go!

28 comments:

  1. Hahahah!! Those are funny!!!

    I can't think of any good ones at the moment, but I'll let you know if I come up with anything good.

    Kelly

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  2. I'll start then. How about "Don't push or you'll get hemorrhoids!"

    Too much?

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  3. Thank your for addressing this issue about which I feel very strongly. Against. Every time I see wall decals with sayings I want to replace them with:

    "I'm a happy happy person, so happy and smart, and interesting too, so when you read the clever, interesting and very deep sentiments I've put on my walls I want you to think to yourself how happy and smart and interesting I am."

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  4. Erika: That's funny but I'd like to see a little more passive aggression. My experience is that wall words are at their most effective when they're belittling the reader but subtly. Hah!

    Kathy: I dare you.

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  5. I have a painting of a scowling woman in view as you leave our powder room. I call the painting "Did you wash your hands? Really?" so that's what my wall words would be.

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  6. And how about those sit around single word things made out of wood-ish stuff - Family, Love, Peace - crap like that. I am clearly missing the wall words / single sit around words gene. Glad to know I am not the only one. I have the desire to put up a Sopranos type phrase which would include a foul word of course.

    Sharon

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  7. In my living room I'd like to have my favourite Sarte quote, "Hell is other people."

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  8. Mom2reese: That's funny!

    Sharon: I can think of a whole bunch of Sopranos expression that would be perfect. Who to quote though? Tony? Carmella? Carmella's mother? Livia? That's it! It would have to be Livia's "Poor you!"

    Nim: Sartre always works. Sartre and Tony Soprano.

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  9. Abandon hope, all ye who enter here? Awesome! The kitchen of my new old condo had the word "Eat" on the wall when it belonged to the prior owners. At the wrong angle, it looked like "Fat," which really didn't make me want to eat any more.

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  10. Adult kids make me mental especially when they have not grown out of the "what's yours is mine" mentality.

    Over the bar, the workshop and tool room would read "VIDEO MONITORED". In the guestroom, above the bed, would read "ROOM RATES APPLY". Above the pantry door, "EXPLOSIVES" and that of course would explain why the door is double locked. :)

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  11. Points awarded for translating Dante! The Eat/ Fat you described is a hoot. I wonder if that ever occurred tot he previous owners.

    Christine: Are kids who won't leave a problem? My parents were merciless when it came to that. It helped that we were encouraged from birth on to scatter across the country as soon as we were able.

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  12. How about GO AWAY in a front entry??

    Hahaha, I like No Fart Zone :-) Fart humour makes me laugh -- it's not my fault, I blame it on my dad!!

    Your hemorrhoids one is good too :-)

    Kelly

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  13. Have you ever seen the door mats that have "Go Away" written on them?

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  14. No, but I think I'll buy one ;-)

    Kelly

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  15. Here you go Kelly: http://www.amazon.com/Go-Away-Door-Mat-1601/dp/B000I1UYXO

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  16. Kids are long gone but come back and visit... LOL It's a good thing they bring my grandbabies with them otherwise I would get one of those doormats!!!

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  17. Look at the responses! There are some good ones but its too late in the evening for 'me' to even think.

    Soooooooooooo Good night Paul. -Brenda-

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  18. Good turn out but the award goes to Erika. Everybody give Erika a round of applause!

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  19. Oh, I'm too late; funny ideas here, and I especially love the Dante quote. I am tempted to graffiti it above the courtroom door when I go in Friday to drop a civil case I have no chance of winning, but, you know, they might get mad. Still, I had a thought for some newlyweds' home: above the bed, a detailed map of England.

    (too obscure?)

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  20. Anna, i'm yanking that crown off of Erika's head and putting it on yours. The map of England over a newlyweds bed is hands-down the funniest thing I've heard in ages. Brava!

    Hold onto that Dante quote, it comes in handy in all kinds of unexpected places.

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  21. I agree. Award for Erika! She articulated, very clearly what all of us are thinking... There seems to be a very high propensity for this narcissistic behavior in a certain age group!

    I love these discussions Paul. They make me feel so normal :)

    If ever you want to run a snark competition I'm in... I'll put up a pillow prize :)

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  22. I agree with the narcissism accusation wholeheartedly. That's a good idea too Christine, a snark competition...

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  23. And thank you for your thoughtfulness Christine, I appreciate your saying such kind things about K&RD. My goal here is to write a design blog for people who think and opine. It seems to be working.

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  24. These are goooood! And I thought it was just me who didn't like the Words.

    As the "Love like you'll never be hurt" (Huh? Thought it was "like you've never been hurt"?) thing just reeks of desperate and dateless, I suggest replacing it with "Un bel di". I can't read Dante (apart from the quotation above), but I can understand Puccini!

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  25. Puccini works! Although Tosca has more pathos even if it lacks the Japanese costumes.

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  26. I think a line from Carmen's Habanera would be more fitting: "Si je t’aime, prends garde à toi!" Something with bunny-boiling connotations...

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  27. So long as there's an accompanying graphic of Carmen rolling a cigar on her thigh. Hah! Si je t'aime, prends garde à toi is perfect, that's really funny.

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