A traditional newspaper obituary is 208 words or less so we're honoring that old convention to keep things brief.
It may come across as macabre but I don't think it is in the least. Life's short and denying that needling truth does nobody any favors. So without any further ado, here's my obituary. I'm leaving off the dates to heighten the mystery. Yeah right.
Paul Anater died. He hated flowery terms meant to disguise the finality of death so we'll say that he died. Expressions like "passed on" and "passed over" got on his nerves but the inane "passed" sent him into fits of apoplexy. "Passed what?" he would bark. "Passed the bar? Passed the idiot in the right lane? Call things what they are." Oh that Paul.So there you have it a Blog Off obituary in 206 words to be precise. That was a fun exercise. Really. What would you want to appear as your obituary? If something like that ran in The Times I'd be thrilled despite being too dead to appreciate it fully. More than anything it said, I'd be thrilled just to show up in The Times. Hah!
He had little patience for public self-analysis and was smart enough to know that the term for it was omphaloskepsis. He was also smart enough to know that it came from the Greek for "navel gazing." He found other peoples' omphaloskepsis to be self-indulgent and listening to it to be tedious. He spent inordinate amounts of time engaging in it himself of course, but he kept such things private.
Underneath his crotchety exterior he was someone who understood the difference between a thought and a feeling and the wondrous nature of each. He could be imperious and demanding but never thought twice about stopping to answer a question or praise an effort. He loved deeply and was loved just as deeply. No matter what else he did or didn't do, he knew they were the only things that really mattered.
As the day goes on, the rest of the participants in today's Blog Off will appear miraculously at the end of this post. Keep checking back and check out everybody's obits. You can follow along in Twitter as well, just look for the hashtag #LetsBlogOff. If you'd like more information about about the Blog Off or if you'd like to see the results of previous Blog Offs, you can find the main website here.