Ow! My eyes!

The delightful Adrienne Palmer, she's the voice of the great blog Susan Palmer Designs Blog, is trying to give me a stroke. She sent me a note the other night and included these images. She found them on a Croatian interior design forum. In Croatia's defense, everything I saw there was really sharp and interesting. That was, until I came to this hotel bar.

Adrienne called it "Staron meets polished Emperador marble," and that's exactly what this thing is made from. Someone spent a huge amount of money on this room and now it's being mocked by strangers. I feel like Mr. Blackwell or something. 

Seriously, can you imagine trying to navigate these vertigo-inducing steps to get out of this bar after an evening's revelry? 

And then just to poke me with a stick, Adrienne pondered, "What would Jonathan Adler think?" Jonathan Adler would add a couple of large stuffed animals, orange giraffes most likely. He'd then be praised by shelter mags across the land for his "vision." Ugh. 

I love it when somebody sends me something because they know I'll have a fit. Thanks Adrienne!

And the winner is...

[This prize was awarded but never delivered. I was played the fool by a huckster. Please see my post Texts, lies and the final escape: when good contests go bad from 24 February 2010 for a thorough explanation. Do yourself a favor and read the comments that follow that post for an even more thorough explanation. Do not do business with anyone affiliated with Metallo Arts, past or present.]



After sorting through the contest entries for the last 18 hours or so I have come to a decision. I'll spare you the details of my agony, but know that I agonized over this.

The winner of a $3200 gift certificate from Metallo Arts and ten hours of my design time is a woman named Lisa and her Pysanka kitchen. Pysanka is the Ukrainian folk art of painting eggs and objects with meaningful and intricate geometric designs.

I am a sucker for ethnicity of any kind and Lisa pulled out the stops in her incredibly detailed vision of a kitchen based on a Pysanka egg. Here are some excerpts:

Congratulations Lisa!

Reader question: Can I paint tumbled marble?

Help! Is it possible to paint on tumbled marbled tiles with permanent pigment inks and seal it with a sealant? Can this then be used for a kitchen backsplash?  If yes, then what brand of permanent pigment inks are best to use and which sealant to use?

Hmmmmm. You aren't indicating to me whether or not these tumbled marble tiles are already on a wall or if they're in a box waiting to be placed on a wall. In either case, my advice remains the same. Sure you can paint tumbled marble tile, but just because you can doesn't mean you should. So stop right now and don't do it. Make some coasters out of that tile because that's about all it's good for.

Let me disclaim something here. I hate tumbled marble. I think it looks cheesy and cheap. There, I said it. Tumbled marble is made from marble and travertine that's not of sufficient quality to be used without the tumbled finish. In other words, it's made from the reject pile. It would be one thing if it were sold as a cheap material made from rejects, but it's not. People think of it as being some kind of classy addition to their homes but it's anything but. It's a spongy, soft material that sucks up whatever liquid gets near it. That's why it makes a good coaster but a really lousy back splash.

It's sort of like giving someone a fur coat only to admit later that it's a rabbit fur coat. It's a cheap imitation of luxury and it looks bad at the same time. Ugh. See these photos littering this post today? This is what bad kitchen renovations look like and what do all of them have in common? Cheesy, cheap tumbled marble, that's what. There are no shortcuts to character. Putting a rough finish on formerly rejected stone tile doesn't make it look interesting, it makes it look cheap.

So my advice to you is don't do it. Don't paint it, don't stain it and don't use it. If it's already on the wall, chip it off and start over. If you're itching to do something with your back splash and you don't have a whole lot of money to spend I can understand that. Frankly at this stage of the game I can relate to it too. 

A better idea if you're looking to tile a back splash is to just get plain, white 6" x 3" ceramic tiles and set them in a subway pattern. You can find those tiles for a quarter apiece if you're clever and setting tile is really easy. Install a white tile back splash and use white grout with it. It's a classic pattern and it's been around for more than 150 years. Don't get cute with it and it will look great forever. And by cute I mean by cutting in inserts and listellos. Just keep it basic and make your kitchen interesting with accessories, but just a few of them. Contrast the ceramic tile photo above with the festival 'o cheese above it. You know, the one with the red toaster. That kind of stuff makes my eyes bleed. Is that what you want? I hope not. Tumbled marble always ends up looking like that --cheesy. Don't do it. 

Tempest fugit

That's time flies in Latin just in case you were out that day. Time has certainly flown by in the life of the Great Dream Kitchen Contest of 2009 and sadly, it's coming to an end. Yes, that's right. It's crunch time. All entries have to be in to me by the stroke of midnight tonight (Eastern Standard Time). Send anything you have pulled together to p.anater@gmail.com and I'll take it from there.

I'll be pouring over all of the entries tomorrow and painful though it will be, there can only be one one winner. I will announce that winner tomorrow at five. Good luck!

Easter's around the corner

Egads, it just hit me that Easter's next weekend. Not to fear though, check this out. I was reading the great blog Annechovie yesterday and she had a hot lead on some chocolate bunnies that has sent my mind reeling. Imagine a chocolate rabbit attuned to an adult's tastes rather than the wax-laden dreck meant for kids. Imagine an Easter candy that won't put someone over the age of 30 into a diabetic coma. Imagine a chocolately confection that's meant to be savored. Well, you can stop imagining because Vosges Haut-Chocolat has done that for you, and just in time for next weekend.

This is the Barcelona Bunny

This is a deep milk chocolate bunny, deep milk because it's milk chocolate punctuated with a touch of dark chocolate to deepen its flavor. Inside is a blend of hickory-smoked almonds and grey sea salt. Salt and chocolate belong together as anyone who's ever had a chocolate-covered pretzel can attest.

This is the Red Fire Bunny

This dark chocolate bunny is a custom blend of dark chocolate blended just so with just the right amount of warming spice—Mexican ancho & chipotle chili peppers and Ceylon cinnamon. Peppery heat and chocolate is another winning combination. The Maya would have approved. 

This is the Gianduja Bunny

Gianduja (gianduia in Italian) is a Northern Italian blend of milk chocolate and hazelnut paste, think of a less mass-produced Nutella. Vosges Haut-Chocolat makes their own gianduia and then spikes the centers of the Gianduja Bunny with bits of almond and caramelized hazelnuts. Simple, elegant and Italian --three words that belong together forever and always.

This is the Amalfi Bunny

This white chocolate bunny has had me swooning since yesterday and I don't even like white chocolate. Under usual circumstances that is. But the name of this one alone calls to me. I'm a pushover for anything that invokes the Amalfi Coast and this white rabbit does that in spades. Vosges Haut-Chocolat takes their own white chocolate and then wraps it around an interior of lemon zest and pink peppercorn laden white chocolate. Oh man, it's the spring-like sting of Limoncello with the floral heat of a pink peppercorn. The very thought of it makes me want to shout in Neapolitan.

Amazing stuff and hats off to Vosges Haut-Chocolat and Annechovie for pointing them out to me.