Just say no to multi-level marketing

The other day, someone with whom I have a passing business relationship called to tell me about a "business opportunity" he had in mind for me. Warning sign number one; authentic opportunities never refer to themselves as "business opportunies."

Because I'm a courteous man, I listened to the details of this "opportunity" for about ten minutes. What I got was a canned spiel about financial independence and the chance to latch onto the American dream. God and country want me to proper!

As I suspected, the "opportunity" was a multi-level marketing scheme. During the course of this pitch, never once did this passing acquaintance mention the product being sold. Rather, all he talked about was the opportunity for me to make money from the network I'd build. Seriously. To this day I have no idea what's for sale here. But what's for sale is always secondary when it comes to multi-level marketing. The actual thing that's being sold here is a snowball's chance in hell that I'll convince enough people to get into this network to make this worth my time.

When he stopped for a moment to ask me if he could e-mail me a link to a video that would explain the whole system I told him I wasn't interested. He was taken aback by that and he asked me why. I told him that I think multi-level marketing plans rely on on an immoral business model.

He was taken aback even further by that but he opened the door when he mentioned that he'd been introduced to this program by someone at church. Warning sign number two; church isn't for making money.

We ended the phone call on a courteous note and honestly, I don't bear him any ill will. What he was selling just isn't for me. But it has left me wondering, is it for anybody? Really. The only people who make money from these schemes are the ones who dream them up. Is it possible to gain some kind of financial freedom from these schemes? If so, at what price?

Well yesterday he sent me another e-mail and he asked me to expound on why I think that multi-level marketing plans are an immoral business model. Here's what I wrote back to him.

Ordinarily, when a product comes to market, someone sells it as a value proposition. I mean that the person selling the product convinces a perspective buyer that there's value in the product itself. Network marketing ignores the product and instead sells the system for making money by selling the product. The product itself is usually an inferior one but not always. In any case, the product comes second, The System comes first.

Add to that the cloak of secrecy that surrounds these enterprises and who wouldn't be suspicious? In our conversation the other day, never once did you mention the product or describe it in any way. Instead of talking to me about a product and its benefits you wanted to send me a link to a video for me to watch. Before I watched it, I already knew was going to be about a system for making money from selling a forgettable product by foisting it on my friends and loved ones. But more importantly, convincing them to sell it too so that I can start making money from their labor rather than from the direct benefits of of a product that has value in and of itself. People in multi-level marketing programs never make their money from the mark up on a product, rather, they make money from the other people they convince to sell the product.

I find this business model to be distasteful, mostly because it's so secretive and deceitful. Yet, like Amway or Shaklee or any of the rest of them, that deceit is wrapped in a veil of altruism and virtue. Products sold in this manner usually can't compete in an open marketplace, they need a captive audience who's obligated to buy them.

I have no problem at all with someone making money from me when he sells me something I find to be valuable. In fact, I go out of my way to shop in places where I know the salespeople are commissioned and I avoid places where they're not. I want to pay for good products and I want to pay the people who are knowledgeable about them. When I buy a washing machine at Apsco in St. Pete or a pair of shoes a Pelz it's a commercial transaction --a business deal and that's it. They have something I want I have the money to pay for it. There's no veil of secrecy or claimed virtue in the exchange of my cash for their goods. The person selling to me is concentrating on the sale, not convincing me to start selling washing machines or shoes so that he can get a cut of my sales down the road.

And that [name redacted], is how I see it.

Am I wrong? I highly, seriously doubt it, but is there some hidden virtue to multi-level marketing that I'm missing? Is it ever OK to shake down your loved ones to convince them to buy something they'd never buy otherwise?

Welcome to the world Xavier Vincent

Endless congratulations to my amazing niece Sarah and her equally amazing husband Andrew on the birth of their son Xavier Vincent last night.

Good luck coping with the sudden appearance of competition goes to his big sister Pauline who'll always be number one. But that's a tough concept for an 18-month-old to grasp no matter how smart she is.

You know it's funny, in my own mind I'm still somewhere between 25 and 30. It's only when I see my nieces and nephews moving out into to the world and striking out on their own that I can see that I am a middle-aged man, despite my protests to the contrary. To keep myself from mourning my lost youth, I remind myself that I have siblings who are grandparents. Great uncle is a bit easier to deal with than grandpa or grandma must be.

But who cares about that? Sarah and baby are healthy and happy and there's a new life in the world today. He carries in him all of the potential and wonder that all new lives do and he's one fortunate baby to be born to parents who will give him the foundation he needs to go out and realize every ounce of potential he has. Congratulations to Sarah and Andrew!

There's a new color from Blanco

The great folks at Blanco just rolled out their newest color to their line of Silgranit II sinks.

The color is called truffle and it's a grey-brown that will look great in many situations and will help bring out the beauty of stone counters particularly. Silgranit is a manufactured material made from 80% pulverized granite and 20% arcylic. The material that results is stain-, scratch-, acid- and heat-resistant and will outlast the counter it's attached to and still look great. Speaking of looking great, that's Blanco's Kulina faucet int he photo above.

I have to admit that I was a skeptic when these manufactured sinks started to hit the market. I lumped them unfairly with the less-than-ideal solid surface sinks Corian is still trying to pawn off on an unsuspecting public. Silgranit II is in a league all its own however, and these sinks are some of the most resilient and long-lasting on the market.

But Blanco's not stopping with Truffle sinks. Truffle is also available as an accent color on four of their faucets. Those same faucets are available too in Café Brown, Biscotti and Anthracite. Pulling a sink color out of the sink and onto the faucet may be the accent some people are looking for. Color-accented faucets are all the rage from what I saw in Europe earlier this year so it's a look that's bound to catch on here eventually.

You can learn more about the world of Blanco products on their website.

OK New Orleans, it's time to go see a play

My great friend Kevin Smith is returning to the stage this weekend after a 20-year absence and New Orleans you're the lucky host.

On Friday night the Crescent Theater Collective is staging Parallel Lives at the Shadowbox Theater. Parallel Lives was written by Mo Gaffney and Kathy Najimy in 1989. Here's an excerpt from the Crescent Theater Collective:

In the beginning, when the earth is without form, and void, two Supreme Beings meet to plan the creation of the world with the relish of two slightly acerbic interior designers decorating a split-level on the Upper East Side. Once they've decided on the color scheme of the races (a little concerned that white people will feel slighted being such a boring color) they create sex and the sexes. Afraid women will have too many advantages, the Beings decide to make childbirth painful and to give men enormous ... egos ... as compensation.

From this moment on, writers Kathy and Mo whisk the audience through an outrageous universe of gender-benders struggling through the common rituals of modern life: dating, mating, coping with guilt, bar life, curb life, sex, sex, sex. With boundless humor, Parallel Lives examines the ongoing quest to find parity and love (yes, love) in a contest handicapped by capricious Supreme Beings.

Parallel Lives will have its Gulf Coast premiere on April 1st (no kidding) at The Shadowbox Theatre and run for three weekends. Local actors C. Patrick Gendusa and Kevin Smith share an engaging sense of creativity as they switch roles and, occasionally, sexes. Glenn Meche artfully directs this series of satirical sketches that will leave you giddy  with laughter all the way home.

You can buy tickets prior to the show from Eventbrite. It's killing me that I can't be at Kevin's premiere tomorrow night but hopefully some of you out there can be. The show will play tomorrow, 4/1 and then continues on 4/2, 4/7, 4/8, 4/9, 4/14, 4/15, and 4/16. All performances start at 8pm and the show runs for two hours.

I've seen Parallel Lives performed before, though regretfully never with Mr. Smith in a lead role. It's hilarious and well worth a night out. So come on New Orleans, go out and support The Arts in the Crescent City.

The Shadowbox Theater is at 2400 St Claude Ave  New Orleans, LA  and here's a map:



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Go and tell Kevin I said hello. Again, buy tickets here.

What do you carry: a Blog Off post

Every two weeks, the blogosphere comes alive with something called a Blog Off. A Blog Off is an event where bloggers of every stripe weigh in on the same topic on the same day. The topic for this round of the Blog Off is "What are you carrying?"

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I fancy myself to be a bit of a traveler and the many places life's brought me so far have left an indelible mark on me. I'm a better man for having seen some places most people only read about and it's not something I take lightly. So whether it was trekking through a Panamanian rain forest or having the Spanish steps all to myself on a rainy Sunday morning, places and experiences stay with me.

I like to travel lightly and I'm not much of a shopper, but something I've been doing for the last 20 years or so is accumulating odds and ends from the places where I've been. These stones and sticks, bones and feathers end up in a jar on my dresser. That jar is my world in miniature it reminds me how fortunate I am every morning. The theme this week is What do You Carry? And my answer is that I carry with me every experience I've ever had. Some highlights:

This is an ancient Roman bell, it's one of the three ancient Roman artifacts I own. That this bronze bell was once sewn into the hem of someone's clothes thrills me to my core.

This is a small piece of brick from the Baths of Caracalla in Rome. The ruins in Rome are crumbling and this small piece of brick ended up getting washed off the building that once held the grandest baths the world has ever seen and it landed on a path I was walking on. Holding a piece of Roman engineering is almost as thrilling as holding a piece of Roman ornament.

These are shells from a beach in Honduras. If you ever want a get away for some solitude,  Honduras fits that bill nicely. The Honduran people are amazing and they need your money. Go.

This is a piece of pumice I fished out of a hillside in Pompeii. This piece of pumice is one of the billions of pieces of pumice spewed out of Mount Vesuvius on August 24th, 79 and buried Pompeii.

This is pumice I pried out of the cliffs in Herculaneum. This stuff looks so harmless now. 

This is a piece of granite from the summit of Mount Tamalpais in Marin County, California.  Mount Tam was the backdrop to an important period in my life and when I hold onto that rock it's like I'm there all over again.

This is a feather I found on Cat Island in The Bahamas. It once belonged to a common ground dove, which are the most comical birds I've ever had the pleasure to interact with.

This is a piece of quartz from Guanajuato, Mexico. Mexico is a beleaguered country and good news from there is hard to come by in the US press. Mexico is a wonder and it has a history that predates anything on this side of the border by centuries.

My great friends Bob and Rick live just outside of Philadelphia and this is a piece of mica  I retrieved from their woods.

This is a shell from the beach in Positano. I've written about the wonder that is Positano here before and this misshapen shell is a perfect metaphor for the place.

This desiccated tree frog once stowed away in my luggage when I was in Panama. I never knew he was there and by the time I got home he hadn't survived the ordeal.

This is a shell from a beach in Mayreau in St. Vincent and the Grenadines. The extreme southern Caribbean is littered with unpopulated islands, many of which are only accessible by sailboat, which is how I got there. Why anyone would set foot on a cruise ship is beyond me.

I bought this ring from an old woman in Puerto Limón, Costa Rica for around 75 cents. It's silver and I wore it for nearly ten years.

This is a piece of lavender I picked from a roadside in France in what seems like a lifetime ago. It's at least 16 years old and it still smells like lavender.

This is a piece of stainless steel I retrieved from a factory parking lot in Germany last winter.

So what do I carry? My history and the stories I've accumulated.

As the day goes on, the rest of the participants in today's Blog Off will appear miraculously at the end of this post. Keep checking back and check out everybody's postss. You can follow along in Twitter as well, just look for the hashtag #LetsBlogOff. If you'd like more information about about the Blog Off or if you'd like to see the results of previous Blog Offs, you can find the main website here.