No more woe

I was just looking over what's come out of me this week on this blog and it seems that all this economic weal and woe is getting the best of me. Well, I'm done wringing my hands for the time being. Here's a bathroom I came across a couple of months ago and put in my clip file.

I have no idea where I found it, but there's something about this room that really speaks to me. Part of it is that it reminds me of some of the places I lived when I was young and hungry. On the whole, they were some pretty good times. Part of it too is that it's pretty obviously a bathroom in a Manhattan apartment, and I love New York with a passion that borders on the unhealthy. But probably more than anything, this bathroom tells a story of the person who lives here and at the same time it tells the story of the building it's in. I love peering into an unoccupied space and figuring out a bit about who lives in it. And at this point, I'll take whatever distraction I can find. So in keeping with this idea of distracting myself from woe's many forms, I hereby declare this week to be No Bad News week. Let's start a movement.

Ikea Tampa announced an opening date

At 9am on the 6th of May Ikea will swing open its doors to an adoring Tampa public. The Tampa store will be Ikea's largest in Florida at 353,000 square feet. That is not a typo. It will also be the first Ikea location in the US with an expanded Swedish food section.

The location Tampa has been under construction for two years and those two years have been rather eventful so far as the economy in the community surrounding Ikea's new location goes.

When Ikea announced its plans to move into Florida, things were clipping along here. Construction was still booming although the cracks were starting to show. Lenders were still writing mortgages to just about anybody with a pulse and all of us in the construction and renovation industries had more work than we could handle.

But while that store was under construction, the local economy hit the wall. Greater Tampa is home to one of the highest mortgage default rates in the country and an article in the St. Pete Times this week reported that 31 percent of the mortgaged properties here are under water. That means the owners owe more than their mortgaged properties are worth. Consider that the median house price here has dropped by 50 percent in the last three years and it's not hard to see why.

Times is hard as I like to say and it's an interesting time to open a retail establishment. I wish them well, I really do. There's nothing else to compete with them here really. And maybe the answer in trying economic times is to sell cheap stuff that looks good, quality be damned. If nothing else, Ikea has health insurance benefits for even their part-timers.

But still, I'm holding out hope that from the ashes of our burning economy comes a better appreciation for value. Cheap stuff's not cheap when you have to buy it twice.

And the keynote speaker at KBIS 2009 is...

Every year, my industry holds an enormous trade show we call KBIS. KBIS stands for the Kitchen and Bath Industry Show. Every year, KBIS takes place in a different city. Though due to it million-ish square feet of floor space requirements, those cities are pretty much restricted to Orlando, Chicago, Las Vegas and Atlanta.

KBIS isn't just a trade show, it's also an opportunity to attend seminars and network with fellow travellers. HGTV broadcasts from the show floor and the rest of the regular press is in attendance too. The new products that debut at KBIS end up on sales floors within weeks, and that show is often the only opportunity design pros have to kick the tires on stuff they'll be specifying in the year ahead.

KBIS starts with a keynote address given by someone everyone admires and whose opinion counts for something. This year, with the industry on its knees and designer-types looking for something, anything to tell them that things will get better; the need for a rallying speaker couldn't be more pronounced. Instead, the committee picked Mike Huckabee. Yes, THAT Mike Huckabee. The failed presidential candidate and creationist extraordinaire.

Now Mike Huckabee has what to do with the Kitchen and Bath Biz exactly? I won't wait for an answer. But geez, can we please get someone with an understanding of the industry next time?

What NOT to do

If you see this in a reduced bin at Pier 1, leave it there.

No really. If you see this in a reduced bin, it's been reduced for a very good reason. LEAVE IT THERE.

A Reader's Lament: Melody hates her kitchen

At the suggestion of my blog mentor, I'm trying to build a community around this blog. My new Reader Question series is a part of that as is a new entry I'm calling A Reader's Lament. Is there something about your current space that you're powerless to change? Write it up and send it to me. With your permission, I'll run it here and you may get some catharsis from it. It won't change anything of course, but sometimes it feels good just to yell and get it out of your system.

The following was sent to me by my friend Melody McFarland from San Diego. Melody is a woman of as varied interests as me and her blog, I Like Pigeons Because Nobody Else Does, is a sounding board for all of them. Melody's a biologist with a knack for mounting specimens that rivals her ability to crank out couture-level clothing. Her blog makes me think and it makes me laugh and for my money, that's winning combination.

Melody and I grew up in adjoining small towns in rural Pennsylvania and struck out to see the world on out own terms. However, Melody and her husband are gearing up to move back to Pennsylvania after a 20 year absence. That fact alone will have me glued to her blog as she makes that transition.

So without further ado, here's Melody's lament:

I absolutely loathe the kitchen in the house we rent. Honestly, I don't think I've ever hated a kitchen more and I just need to vent because you are one of the few people who truly understands what it is to feel such rancor for a work-space. It's ugly. It's boring. It's poorly done. It has substandard, cheap worthless appliances. It's fucking loathsome. 

Take a look at the pictures. Who had their head far enough up their ass that would not permit them to see the stupidity in the installation of tile on a kitchen counter? Did they not take into consideration the filth that would accumulate in the grout? I make a lot of kneaded things - bread, pizza dough, pasta - and of course it's impossible to knead on that stupid counter. So I have to use a pastry board that slides across the counter unless I fold up a beach towel and put it underneath. Each time I do this I feel a small amount of rage. Simply wiping the counter off requires scrubbing and a brush. If I don't use a brush, all I'm doing is crushing filth and dirt down into the grout. 

Look at those appliances! A Whirlpool range? Talk about a piece of shit. Whatever happened to people taking pride in producing a quality product? I'd be embarrassed to sell the thing. The dishwasher is a Kitchen Aid and I don't even bother to use it anymore. Nothing on the top rack gets clean. You want to see someone pissed off? Come by when I run the dishwasher and unload it.

 

Look at the "style". Have you ever seen a more insipid, uninspiring half-assed piece of crap? Those cabinets are an atrocity! 

I hated this kitchen from the get-go, but now that our new house with my very own kitchen is just three short months away, my irritation has increased by an order of magnitude. I just hope I can get out of here without dousing it with kerosene and torching it. The thing is, our landlord acts like we're living in the Biltmore. 

This whole tirade was just incited by the fact that I made bread this morning and had to do the whole too-small-pastry-board-and-towel routine.

Thank you Melody and I hope my running this here makes your cross a little easier to bear. And again, check out I like Pigeons Because Nobody Else Does.