Saturday funnies

Kai Ryssdal is the the host of NPR's Marketplace and is one of my favorite voices in the media. Marketplace makes listening to financial news interesting and occasionally, fun. Last week, the "Marketplace Players" mounted a one-act play to explain the credit collapse of '08. Here it is:

SELLER:[sound of door opening] All right. So glad to hear the Union of Mothers and Nurses Pension Fund is keen to invest with us, Mr. Moron.

BUYER: Actually, That's Mah-RONE.

SELLER: Oh, do pardon me.

BUYER: Happens all the time. Now, we really took a hit when Lead Paint Toyco went under, so we'd like some big, quick returns here.

SELLER: Then have I got the product for you. It's called a reverse sub-micro-standard mortgage shadow security and -- do you hold a degree in rocket science?

BUYER: Nope.

SELLER: Hmm. Well then, simply put, what we do is take semi-insured debts that've been sold to us from inelastic bubble markets, vertically resell, then unbundle the revenues according to Moody's astro-logarithm.

BUYER: Astro ...

SELLER: Astro-logarithm, which gives a monetized valuation that has itself been subdivided into A-3 and G-minus pumpkin patch. You following?
BUYER: Not at all!

SELLER: Great; me neither, really! This thing was invented by some eggheads we keep in a cave.

BUYER: Please, continue.

SELLER: Right. So, I think the Q-grades are dumped and leveraged upwards across 25 underplummeries? Our unicorn gives it a kick, and presto: you've got 300 percent annual growth.

BUYER: Now, you just said "unicorn." There is such a thing?

SELLER: Uhhh. Kind of? Honestly, I don't know. Don't care!

BUYER: Well, you also said "300 percent." So, I'm sold!

SELLER: OK! How much you want?

BUYER: How about far more than we can afford?

SELLER:[HIGH VOICE] Sweet.

BUYER: Great doing business with you, Mr. Exploiter.

SELLER: Actually, that's Ex-PLAH-tee-ay.

BUYER: Whatevs!

More explanations from Marketplace

Please excuse me as I perform another public service, but I firmly believe that what's happening in the financial sector affects all of us in some way or another. It's helpful to know what's at the root of the current financial crisis.

Here's another great Paddy Hirsch video from Marketplace. This time, Hirsch takes on Credit Default Swaps. Credit default swaps are what brought down AIG and the rest of the financial titans who have floundered and collapsed in the last few weeks. This one's ten minutes long, but it's still an entirely watchable explanation of a complex idea that currently wreaking havoc the world over.

Untangling credit default swaps from Marketplace on Vimeo.

Lady Marmoleum

I just got a hot lead on Marmoleum floors by Forbo. Forbo is a Swedish company and they've been making Marmoleum for the last 100 years. Generically, Marmoleum is linoleum; the original resilient floor. It's making a serious comeback due to the innovations and energetic marketing of the Forbo company.

In Forbo's capable hands, linoleum branded as Marmoleum is fresh, new and dare I say it? Hip.

I mean, look at this stuff. Lower East Side tenements do not come to mind when I see these photos and I understand why Forbo dispensed with the word linoleum.

Marmoleum is hip and now because it's bright and new, but it's also hip and now because it's green and sustainable. It's made today the way it was always made. From linseed oil, wood flour and rosins that are pressed into a jute backing. It's non-toxic, VOC-free, biodegradable when the time comes and virtually indestructible until then.

Due to its linseed oil content, it gets harder the longer its exposed to air and it's also naturally anti-microbial. What's not to love?

You can find local sources for Marmoleum through Forbo's website. If your market's anything like mine, it's not too tough to find. You can expect to pay between $5.50 and $7.50 a square foot for materials.

The financial meltdown partially explained

I had a client call me this afternoon and cancel not only our next appointment, but our entire job. It seems he's lost, according to him, a half million dollars in the last week-and-a-half. Clearly and understandably, all bets are off.

So Wall Street has begun to affect my Main Street. Frankly, I could never hear that phrase again and die a happy man. So I'll personalize it even further, Wall Street has affected Seventh Avenue North. I want to believe that this will be an isolated incident, but I have a feeling that it won't be. Oh well, I kept my head through the boom and I'll keep my head through the bust.

I stay on top of financial stuff and I do it by reading the financial papers, or more accurately, skimming the financial papers. Equally helpful is a great little show on NPR called Marketplace. Marketplace has its own section on NPR's website and Marketplace's editorial staff does a great job of further exploring financial and economic concepts.

Here's a video put together by Marketplace's Senior Editor, Paddy Hirsch. Hirsch explains in very clear terms what a CDO, or Collateralized Debt Obligation is. CDO's are partially responsible for the current financial crisis. Give it a watch if you're interested in understanding some of what's going on.

Crisis explainer: Uncorking CDOs from Marketplace on Vimeo.

Inset from the outset

As I mentioned yesterday, framed cabinetry comes in three primary overlay styles: standard overlay, full overlay and inset. Here's a breakdown of what those terms mean.

This is a standard overlay door. You can see how the door doesn't cover the faceframe completely. This is an old-fashioned design that's not at all popular anymore. Do not buy standard overlay doors! The arched top rail on this door pushes this style closer to the dustbin where it belongs. 

This is a full-overlay framed cabinet door. See how the door and drawer front cover the face frame? This is what you want, regardless of the door style. The door style I'm showing here is what I call a wide-stile Shaker door. It's the more modern take on a typical Shaker door.

Finally, there's inset cabinetry. Rather than resting on the surface of the faceframe, inset cabinetry doors sit inside the faceframe. Generally, inset cabinet doors are made with either a beaded or unbeaded frame, and with either visible or hidden hinges. The image above shows a non-beaded cabinet frame with hidden hinges on the door.

Here's a beaded frame on a cabinet with hidden hinges. The bead in a beaded frame is the outline you can see around this door. That bead is an added detail and serves no real purpose but to make the door appear to be larger. Beaded inset cabinetry is usually available with either exposed or hidden hinges.

And here's a non-beaded frame with exposed hinges. When you're looking at inset cabinetry with exposed hinges, there are usually three or four hinge finishes available. In the image above, the hinges are finished in a matte black and they have a ball finial. An exposed hinge can give a modern-ish door like this one a more vintage feel.

Inset cabinetry is a traditional form of cabinet making and it's been making a comeback in recent years. Although it's a traditional form, it doesn't have to be used in a traditional setting. 

The kitchen above is a transitional contemporary design with some traditional elements --the Hoosier-type cabinet  between the wall ovens and the well-disguised refrigerator jumps out at me as the big traditional element here. That Hoosier cabinet is actually made from inset cabinetry by the way, and all of the cabinetry shown in that image is by and available from Medallion Cabinetry. If you'd like a good run-through of a solid and well-made inset cabinetry line, check out Medallion's Platinum line.