I want to smack this kid

Last week, my hero Decorno ran a piece about a story from New York magazine. She introduced this story as one of her world-famous discussion topics. I thought it was over. But this story has taken on a life of its own and so I'm going to weigh in too. Enjoy the free publicity kid and remember that any press is good press.

This is Maximilian Sinsteden's dorm room at Drew University in Madison, NJ.

Young Max is a 21-year-old senior with enough connections to get a spread in New York magazine and I can't fault him for his pluck. His aesthetic sensibilities on the other hand leave me cold. I call it affected clutter.

I can't tell if the affectation is coming from young Max or from the breathless commentary provided by New York magazine. You tell me.

The standing lamp is Ikea. The wall is covered with artwork by him and his friends; paintings and documents from Jaipur and Bombay; a model from Charlotte Moss; and pieces collected from “tag sales, thrift and consignment stores.”

It's the "paintings and documents from Jaipur and Bombay" that about push me to the edge. Certainly, there's nothing wrong with Indian cities, even if the people of Bombay call it Mumbai now. A little colonialism never hurt anybody, right?

The tie-backs are repurposed ascots.

That's all the photo caption says. Really. Repurposed ascots. No one other than Sebastian Flyte from Brideshead Revisited has ascots lying around and waiting to be repurposed. Argh.

He keeps the bathroom caddy affixed to the mirror with suction cups.

So clever that Max.

The tie rack is by Sinsteden’s father, with finials from P.E. Guerin. The chest of drawers is an $80 thrift-store find.

Good Lord, it looks like a Polo store display. There was a time when stores and hotels tried to recreate a homey atmosphere. Now, so thoroughly has the idea of merchandising penetrated our culture that people try to recreate stores and hotels in their homes. I guess the goal is to make their private space more what? Commercial? I don't get it. 

So am I just a bitter, soon-to-be 44-year-old man? Is there something admirable about this kid's dorm room I'm missing?

Stunning mosaics from Natalie Blake Studios

Brattleboro, Vermont-based artist Natalie Blake makes tile unlike any other I've seen. Her work is beautiful and evocative at the same time. The soothing, sinuous shapes and textures of her wall-hung mosaics draw attention to themselves without shouting. The stories they tell are purposefully incomplete. Her work requires an observer to fill in the blanks and connect the dots. It's observational, conversational, participational art. Brilliant, beautiful work; all of it. Natalie Blake has a collection coming in June from Ann Sacks. Stay tuned next month and we'll take a look at it. In the meantime, take a stroll through her website, Natalie Blake Studios.

Reader question: Will this work?

Help! I'm still on the hunt for accessories to put in my living room. Will this work?

No.

I followed the link you sent me for that telescope and it's not even a functioning telescope. Why would you put something like that in this room? It would make some kind of sense if you had an interest in astronomy. If that were true though, why not get one that works? Do me a favor and never buy another purposeless accessory. Don't buy cheap junk to add "interest" to a room. Ever. All it does is add to the pile of junk that you will end up throwing away eventually. Until it gets to that point though, it will be one more useless thing to dust.

Your home should look like you. The stuff lying about should relate to your life and have some meaning for you. Buying stuff for the sake of accessorizing is how you decorate for a magazine spread, it's not how you make a house a home. Accessorize with things that reflect your interests, your loves and your passions. Are you a reader? Then put a book case full of the greatest books you've ever read in your room. Are you a photographer? Set an arrangement of antique cameras on that mantle. Have you been to interesting places? Buy a couple of things that remind you of the places you've been. Hang and arrange an assortment of photographs that tell the story of your life and the lives of the people you love. You home is the one chance in life you get to be the star of your own show. Don't share the spotlight with the junk aisle of T.J. Maxx and Marshall's.

In the meantime, I'd suggest you invest in some paint and an area rug. Move that black floor lamp out of the middle of the room. Get some end tables and a coffee table. Set lamps on the end tables. If you're feeling spendy and adventurous, get rid of the sofa and chair set and buy a well-made sofa and a chair or two that coordinate with it but don't match it. Hang some art on your walls.

Is this starting to feel overwhelming? I don't mean it to be, but putting together a living room requires a bit of planning. Just adding a bunch of disparate stuff will lead you nowhere fast. Think it through before you spend a dime and then execute your plan. Remember, no junk!

Still overwhelmed? Hire a designer. In the hands of a good designer, you will spend no more money than you would without one and the whole thing will come together in a matter of weeks. Awww heck, you can even hire me.

I love this kitchen

My sources tell me that this kitchen was featured at the GE KBIS booth in Atlanta last weekend. GE?! Really? Interesting design is not the thought that pops into my head immediately upon hearing the name GE, I have to tell you.

This kitchen's really clever and beautiful. Aside from all the crap that's cluttering it up, the cabinetry alone in this thing is impressive. The wall shelves echoing the shape and color of the counters and supports is genius. I love the idea of taking something like a Chinese chest of drawers and interpreting it as kitchen cabinetry. Bravo GE, good job.

The results of my moonlighting

This is a stray dog that was sacked out in a walkway of the Stabian baths in Pompeii. I swear, Pompeii is lousy with stray dogs. It's the strangest thing.

The great Franki Durbin took the week off from her equally great blog, Life in a Venti Cup. I stepped into her fashionable shoes for the last five days and I wrote about (what else?) Italy. Franki's going to be filling in for me at some point in the next couple of months when I take off on a well-deserved vacation. Ahhhh, I can feel it already.

Anyhow, here are the links to my Life in a Venti Cup project from last week.

How I Ended Up in a Villa in Sorrento

Oh Sorrento, the Curious Gateway to Amalfi

Spend Some Quiet Time in Ravello

Find Amalfi if You're on the Amalfi Coast

OK, Here's the Last of my Traveler's Tales from Campagnia

And with that out of my system, I think I'm done writing about Italy for a while.