The $2,300 Squirrel: Why an Uncapped Chimney Is a Living Room Hazard

Frank and I have a fireplace in our living room that we rarely light. For starters, it’s remarkably shallow, which means it isn't much of a heat source on crisp autumn or cold winter nights. For all practical purposes, it serves a purely decorative function—and we’re generally fine with that. What we weren't prepared for, however, was its sudden conversion into a high-rise maternity ward for local wildlife.

Last winter, a squirrel decided our unused chimney stack was the premier neighborhood real estate for nest-building. I discovered this development when one of them successfully navigated the flue and ended up loose inside our house. Now, under the absolute best of circumstances, I dislike squirrels intensely. They chew through roof soffits, aggressively taunt our dog, Rhys, and as it turns out, turn into absolute wrecking balls when trapped indoors.

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It is difficult to properly quantify the sheer destruction a single squirrel can cause overnight. While Frank and I were fast asleep, the little invader smashed several pieces of art glass on the mantle, knocked down framed paintings, and completely shredded the window screens in the sunroom trying to claw its way out. It took Rhys and me nearly an hour of frantic chasing to corner the creature, and let’s just say it did not survive to see another sunrise.

Every bit of that chaos—and the loss of our art glass—could have been avoided with a basic, functioning chimney cap. We knew the old cap needed replacement, but it simply hadn't made it to the top of our priority list; coaxing our ancient furnace through another Pennsylvania winter took precedent. But with the intruder dealt with, I was left facing a bizarre dilemma: how do you safely remove a live squirrel nest from inside a masonry chimney?

My first call was to a local chimney repair company, but they flatly refused to touch anything containing an active nest and advised me to call an exterminator. I called one, only to be quoted an eye-watering $2,300 to trap the remaining squirrels and remove the nesting material. Given that I had zero interest in humanely relocating pests that had just trashed my living room, spending over two grand was out of the question.

Instead, I took matters into my own hands—literally. I cut down a sheet of plywood, boarded up the fireplace opening, and for the remainder of the winter, Frank and I got to admire a raw piece of wood in the middle of our living room every single day.

A bit of research revealed that squirrels only occupy nests during their two annual breeding cycles: late winter and late summer. Armed with that timeline, I played the long game. I waited until May, when I knew the family had naturally vacated, and then called a standard chimney sweep. They cleared out the abandoned nest and installed a heavy-duty stainless steel mesh cap without issue.

The final bill? $800 for the chimney sweep and cap, saving us $1,500 over the exterminator's quote. That is what I call smart money.

If there is a takeaway here for anyone with an infrequently used fireplace, it's this: inspect your chimney cap today. A simple wire mesh guard is all that stands between your quiet living room and a frantic, destructive pest. And if you think a single squirrel can wreak havoc on your mantle and screens, just imagine what a raccoon would do.