It's a sink revolution

Many thanks to my pal Laurie Burke from Kitchen Design Notes for this one.

Ordinary sinks have a seam where the plumber's ring meets the bottom of the sink. Since virtually all sinks look like this, no one really notices the seams.

That was until now. Check out these seamless, stainless steel sinks from Affluence. Somebody looked down into his or her sink and said "There has to be a better way." And sure enough, there is. Wow. What a difference!

Oh look! A cute bunny!

Someone told me that I sounded like an angry man yesterday. I suppose that if I start running random photos of bunnies or puppies I'll be able to counteract that.

Oh look! Another bunny!

No wait a minute, it's the same one. Oh well. 

Here's how I prefer my bunnies anyhow.

Main Dish: How To Make Rabbit Fricassee

I think some one's confusing my rapier wit with a raging fit and nothing could be further from the truth. People who aren't motivated by sentimentality aren't any more angry than they are purple. Similarly, people who are run by sentiment aren't automatically happy (or stupid). Some people see a rabbit and think "Awwwww, what a cute bunny." Then again, some people see a rabbit and think, "Yum! Dinner!" And you know what? Neither of those reactions means a thing.

Dziękujemy i zapraszamy do mojego bloga!

According to Google Translator, that says thank you and welcome to my blog in Polish. My story about the awful back splash got picked up by a Polish design site this morning and I've been inundated with visitors from Poland all day. I am flattered and honored. The site is called Babeczkaa and it is an interesting thing indeed to see that piece discussed in Polish. Check it out!

Reader Question: How do I get on TV?

Help! How does one get chosen to be on a kitchen remodel show?

I have no idea, but I would like to acknowledge your use of "one" as a substitute pronoun in that sentence. Bravo!

Now, why on earth would anyone want to be the victim of one of those TV shows? The makeover programs you're aspiring to are where we get garbage like this:

Really, is that the sort of thing you want for yourself? Granted, that's a bathroom and you want to be in a kitchen show, but the point remains the same.

Makeover TV shows exist for one reason, to make compelling TV. It may be hard to believe, but they don't exist to make their participants' dreams come true. Everything about them serves the camera, first and foremost. If it makes for compelling television to take your wants and needs into consideration, then they will. If your wants and needs don't jive with the producer's, guess who's going to win. The same thing goes for the finishes. If they decide that hot-gluing corrugated cardboard and hay onto your back splash would look great on camera, you're getting a back splash made from hay hot-glued to corrugated cardboard. If the show's sponsors are providing orange counters that week, what color do you think your counters are going be? The TV camera rules. Period.

The TV cameras and the producers and the sponsors are going to decide for you what your kitchen should be. Then they are going to require that you like what they do. At least while the cameras are rolling. After a week of strangers tracking mud through your living room stinking up your bathroom you'll be ready to flip out. And rest assured, they'll capture that special moment for the world to see when it happens. Screaming mad homeowners make compelling TV, not quiet and content ones.

And if all that weren't enough, you might be asked to pay for your project after all. Or you might be required to do some of the work. Or maybe they'll leave it half done and you'll have to finish what they started. Please remember that if it sounds too good to be true, it is.

Beware anybody who offers you a free lunch, because there's no such thing. Now please stop watching HGTV. All it does is fill your head with crazy ideas.

Save your money and renovate your own kitchen according to your own tastes and on your own timeline. It will mean more to you and it will be yours.

Don't call me if your house looks like this

While I'm purging my foul humors this week, I have one last thing to get out of my system.

A couple of months ago I went on an appointment with someone. He'd called the previous week and had passed my phone test. When I get a phone call I think I do a pretty good job of explaining who I am and what I do. I usually throw some budget numbers around in that initial contact to let people know that I'm a value proposition, not necessarily a low-cost one. If you want a cheap renovation, I'm not your guy. If you want a great one, then please please please call me.

Anyhow, I walked into his home and was immediately assaulted by an odor so foul I nearly turned around and left on the spot. However, I'd driven a half hour to get there and I'd at least hear the man out. It smelled like a land fill in there. A landfill with under tones of an unwashed body and an end note of a wet golden retriever. Welcome to my nightmare.

In addition to living in a pig sty, the man was unpleasant and demanding. He asked me for a ball park number on the spot. I never play that game but I had to get out of there pronto. I looked at him and just told him I wasn't interested.

Strangely, the whole interaction was exhausting, all ten minutes of it. I was mortified by how the guy lived but at the same time, it was so clearly the result of some kind of pathology. Some small part of me wanted to fix up his place for him and by extension, fix up his life. But I learned a long time ago that I can't do that with the people I care about, let alone with total strangers.

So I drove home, took a shower and wiped out my refrigerator. I figured I'd clean up after myself since I can't clean up after strangers. I'm not a real sensitive guy, but that guy's mess took a toll on me. 

I don't know, I am in and out of other people's houses all the time. I have seen it all and I really do keep a nearly clinical detachment. People who call me want my help so I usually don't pay a whole lot of attention to their housekeeping. But this one was beyond anything I'd ever come across though. What would you do?