The Daily Granite

I took a client to a stone yard last week to look at slabs of marble. We went to Custom Marble Works in Tampa. I'd post a link to their website but they don't seem to have one. That's OK though, I love their work so much that it doesn't matter. If you find yourself in Tampa's Ybor City and you're looking for the best place to have marble counters, tables, fireplaces, columns, or what have you made, get thee to 1905 N. 43rd Street. Their number is 813-620-0475.

Custom Marble prides itself on its amazing work and the discerning eye of Rick, who collects some of the most unusual stone slabs I've ever seen. Despite the company name, they don't limit themselves to working in marble. They're equally happy working with granite, quartzite, onyx, serpentine, etc.

My client fell in love with a slab of quartzite and I can't blame her for doing so. But as I explained to her that what we were looking at was neither granite nor marble, but a whole other kind of stone, she seemed a little lost. So I launched into one of my geology lessons and about a half-hour later she knew more about the formation of the earth than she probably wanted to.

I can't help myself sometimes. I'm cursed with a lifelong need to know what things are. So for the next couple of days, I'm going to break my Geology for Homeowners lesson into smaller parts and go through some of the kinds of stone that end up in peoples' homes.

Sunday sale

Smith and Noble's having a sale kids. Head over to their website and click on the Clearance hot key on the left side of the page. They're also running a delivery promo that's great for a last-minute, pre-holiday pick me up. Order anything from their catalog by 12 November and they guarantee delivery by Thanksgiving.

I hate dealing with window treatments and thanks to the pros at Smith and Noble, I don't have to. They even have a wood and DuraWood blind color matching service. No lie. I can specify a color, say it's Benjamin Moore 1545 --Iron Gate. All I have to do is call them ahead of time, send them a swatch and BAM! two weeks later I have custom-sized wood blinds in a custom color. AND they do if for less money than that Levolor crap at Lowe's. They made a believer out of me.

Saturday stop and think

I've had the Stephen Foster song, Hard Times Come Again No More rattling around in my head these last few days. Foster wrote it in 1854 in reaction to a string of personal setbacks he lived through. There's something about a line the chorus that's always appealed to me, "Many days you have lingered around my cabin door/ oh hard times come again no more." It conjures such an image for me. Anyhow, if you're not familiar with that song here are the lyrics. It could have been written yesterday morning when the Dow dropped below 8000 for the first time in I don't know how many years.

Let us pause in life's pleasures and count its many tears,

While we all sup sorrow with the poor;

There's a song that will linger forever in our ears;

Oh Hard times come again no more.

Chorus:

Tis the song, the sigh of the weary,

Hard Times, hard times, come again no more

Many days you have lingered around my cabin door;

Oh hard times come again no more.

There's a song, the sigh of the weary,

Hard Times, hard times, come again no more

Many days you have lingered around my cabin door;

Oh hard times come again no more.

(Chorus)

While we seek mirth and beauty and music light and gay,

There are frail forms fainting at the door;

Though their voices are silent, their pleading looks will say

Oh hard times come again no more.

(Chorus)

There's a pale drooping maiden who toils her life away,

With a worn heart whose better days are o'er:

Though her voice would be merry, 'tis sighing all the day,

Oh hard times come again no more.

(Chorus)

Tis a sigh that is wafted across the troubled wave,

Tis a wail that is heard upon the shore

Tis a dirge that is murmured around the lowly grave

Oh hard times come again no more.

(Chorus)

And here's what it sounds like. 

People have lived through far worse than what's going on today. We'll get through it and be better off for having done so.

Saturday funnies

Kai Ryssdal is the the host of NPR's Marketplace and is one of my favorite voices in the media. Marketplace makes listening to financial news interesting and occasionally, fun. Last week, the "Marketplace Players" mounted a one-act play to explain the credit collapse of '08. Here it is:

SELLER:[sound of door opening] All right. So glad to hear the Union of Mothers and Nurses Pension Fund is keen to invest with us, Mr. Moron.

BUYER: Actually, That's Mah-RONE.

SELLER: Oh, do pardon me.

BUYER: Happens all the time. Now, we really took a hit when Lead Paint Toyco went under, so we'd like some big, quick returns here.

SELLER: Then have I got the product for you. It's called a reverse sub-micro-standard mortgage shadow security and -- do you hold a degree in rocket science?

BUYER: Nope.

SELLER: Hmm. Well then, simply put, what we do is take semi-insured debts that've been sold to us from inelastic bubble markets, vertically resell, then unbundle the revenues according to Moody's astro-logarithm.

BUYER: Astro ...

SELLER: Astro-logarithm, which gives a monetized valuation that has itself been subdivided into A-3 and G-minus pumpkin patch. You following?
BUYER: Not at all!

SELLER: Great; me neither, really! This thing was invented by some eggheads we keep in a cave.

BUYER: Please, continue.

SELLER: Right. So, I think the Q-grades are dumped and leveraged upwards across 25 underplummeries? Our unicorn gives it a kick, and presto: you've got 300 percent annual growth.

BUYER: Now, you just said "unicorn." There is such a thing?

SELLER: Uhhh. Kind of? Honestly, I don't know. Don't care!

BUYER: Well, you also said "300 percent." So, I'm sold!

SELLER: OK! How much you want?

BUYER: How about far more than we can afford?

SELLER:[HIGH VOICE] Sweet.

BUYER: Great doing business with you, Mr. Exploiter.

SELLER: Actually, that's Ex-PLAH-tee-ay.

BUYER: Whatevs!

More explanations from Marketplace

Please excuse me as I perform another public service, but I firmly believe that what's happening in the financial sector affects all of us in some way or another. It's helpful to know what's at the root of the current financial crisis.

Here's another great Paddy Hirsch video from Marketplace. This time, Hirsch takes on Credit Default Swaps. Credit default swaps are what brought down AIG and the rest of the financial titans who have floundered and collapsed in the last few weeks. This one's ten minutes long, but it's still an entirely watchable explanation of a complex idea that currently wreaking havoc the world over.

Untangling credit default swaps from Marketplace on Vimeo.