05 April 2011

Mixed signals as a child leads to furniture design madness

Here's a cautionary tale. As a tale, it's completely made up and bears to resemblance to the life of furniture designer Maximo Reira, whose creations illustrate this story.

Once upon a time, a young boy was born to a set of loving, if confused, parents. The child's parents decided early on that they were going to be thoroughly new school when it came to parenting style. Their son would be able to eat what he wanted and if he ended up a finicky eater who subsisted on chicken nuggets so be it. They decided that when their son had an opinion on any subject under the sun, he could voice that opinion. They decided that when their little darling committed an anti-social act they would refrain from administering the beatings he so richly deserved. No, instead they would banish him to a time out.

So that their son wouldn't feel bad during these times out, they decided that he would take his time outs on a purpose-built bench covered with friendly animals.


After all, just because he made a bad choice didn't mean he had to suffer.

Well, sure enough, their son grew up a finicky eater who interrupted adult conversations and developed an unnatural attachment to furniture shaped like a variety of animals. That he was alone in his attachment never occurred to him because he was raised to believe he was the center of the universe. So, deprived of a degree of self-knowledge and self-restraint necessary to cut it in the world, he started producing these furniture designs.








Parents: Please send your kids clear signals and set real boundaries to avoid a future where all furniture will look like this.

16 comments:

  1. It drives me nuts when I hear people lament, "My Susie will only eat hot dogs and chicken nuggets." Well who's making the food choices for little Susie? That Double Oven Range ad that has copy that reads something like: You can make chicken nuggets for the kids in the top oven while your dinner cooks below. - That ad makes me crazy. Why can't your kids eat the Salmon w/ lemon dill sauce in the main oven?

    The staff and other patrons at the Barnes & Noble cafe always marvel at how my little one will choose a spinach & artichoke strata for a treat vs the cookies the size of his head like the other kids. If you introduce your children to real food, they will learn to appreciate the nuances of flavor & texture. If you set boundaries, they will flourish.

    Sorry for the rant, you hit a nerve. On to the subject at hand. Those chairs are scary, but what's even scarier is that I'm kindof digging on the orange tree frog. I'd love it smaller, tabletop sized, as a perch for my cellphone.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I share your irritation and I have to admit that I'm a bit drawn tot he scorpion chair. Sitting in it would make anyone feel like some kind of a super villain.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Super Villain! All of a sudden I can picture you hunched in that chair, tapping your fingertips together, and letting out a Bwaaahaha.

    ReplyDelete
  4. *lightbulb* So that explains all the Beetlejuice design out there! I always wondered.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I am so glad that my daughter is raising her girls "the right way". I don't forsee any cobra chair designs in their future, who knows. BTW, those cobra chairs scare the bejezz out of me! I do like the orange frog, only because my mom collected frogs, so I am drawn to them because of that.

    Brenda Lynn

    ReplyDelete
  6. Arpi Nalbandian05 April, 2011 12:52

    I kind of like the cobra chair as a replacement for the timeout chair.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Thanks for weighing in, as bizarre as these things are, there's something to them that I can't quite put my finger on.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Funny cause the frog chair freaked me out! I am partial to the moose myself. As always Paul you stretch my imagination!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Arpi: A time out in a cobra chair would send a pretty confusing message. You're being punished so we're going to sit you in a piece of furniture where you can pretend you're a super villain. I'd start sleeping with one eye open after that.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Ginny: The fist image I saw of the frog chair was the red frog. I couldn't tell what it was at first and my imagination went to a pretty dark place.

    ReplyDelete
  11. I don't even know what to say. I think that old guy that does the Dos Equis commercials would look cool in the Cobra chair.

    Time-out chairs should be banned. Spare the rod and spoil the child, my folks said.

    ReplyDelete
  12. I guess Charlie Sheen is passée, because he would rock the Cobra Chair.

    I, on the other hand, am crying out for the Moose Chair. The antlers would be a perfect place to hang my various and assorted soccer scarves and I'm sure there's a crevice in there somewhere for a beer or two.

    For the record, my parents banished me to the trunk in our VW Beetle when I was bad. My kids we're forced to watch Barney in Cantonese until Social Services made me stop.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Bad designer! Bad designer! Somebody make that man eat spinach for the rest of his life. Maybe that will flush out the nastiness.

    ReplyDelete
  14. One of the woodworkers I read about in “Fine Woodworking” said that he felt his furniture should not draw attention to itself, that it should just quietly do its job. And, really, that was the attraction to his furniture. Any woodworker immediately gravitates to a chair like his for a closer look, but so does the (for want of a better term) layman, those who never make sawdust. One is rewarded with wonderful joinery and a chair that is both functional and well-designed. But one never mistakes his chairs for anything but chairs. Whereas these pieces, to me, are just crap. I do understand those who want a conversation piece, but to me, the best conversation piece is a well-made piece.

    If you don’t mind putting in a plug, Paul, here’s a link to a San Diego furniture maker I especially admire: http://www.ctfinefurniture.com/index.php

    Craig’s marquetry is nothing short of fantastic, not only because of his skill, but because he uses marquetry as an ornament on the finished piece, just as one does with detail carvings. The result is a piece that goes into just about any décor, something that is……

    OK, I’ll stop because you’ll think I’ve been paid by this guy to shill for him. I have written several blogs on Craig because I do respect his work so much. But I brought him into the current discussion because his work is the exact anti-thesis of the, um, chairs featured here.

    ReplyDelete
  15. I noticed that nobody is making dog chairs. We must be out of fashion this year.

    ReplyDelete
  16. I have to admit to really liking that frog chair.

    ReplyDelete

Talk to me!

Related Posts with Thumbnails