SELLER:[sound of door opening] All right. So glad to hear the Union of Mothers and Nurses Pension Fund is keen to invest with us, Mr. Moron.
BUYER: Actually, That's Mah-RONE.
SELLER: Oh, do pardon me.
BUYER: Happens all the time. Now, we really took a hit when Lead Paint Toyco went under, so we'd like some big, quick returns here.
SELLER: Then have I got the product for you. It's called a reverse sub-micro-standard mortgage shadow security and -- do you hold a degree in rocket science?
SELLER: Hmm. Well then, simply put, what we do is take semi-insured debts that've been sold to us from inelastic bubble markets, vertically resell, then unbundle the revenues according to Moody's astro-logarithm.
BUYER: Astro ...
SELLER: Astro-logarithm, which gives a monetized valuation that has itself been subdivided into A-3 and G-minus pumpkin patch. You following?
BUYER: Not at all!
SELLER: Great; me neither, really! This thing was invented by some eggheads we keep in a cave.
BUYER: Please, continue.
SELLER: Right. So, I think the Q-grades are dumped and leveraged upwards across 25 underplummeries? Our unicorn gives it a kick, and presto: you've got 300 percent annual growth.
BUYER: Now, you just said "unicorn." There is such a thing?
SELLER: Uhhh. Kind of? Honestly, I don't know. Don't care!
BUYER: Well, you also said "300 percent." So, I'm sold!
SELLER: OK! How much you want?
BUYER: How about far more than we can afford?
SELLER:[HIGH VOICE] Sweet.
BUYER: Great doing business with you, Mr. Exploiter.
SELLER: Actually, that's Ex-PLAH-tee-ay.